So naturally, now that Philosophy PhD Husband and I have jobs, we still make plans. Of course, now that we have kids, our planning takes on a different kind of tone, and of necessity, we have to change our plan each semester because our teaching schedules vary quite a bit.
At the end of this fall semester, I can give you a pretty good sense of how this semester's plan went:
THE PLAN (the Fall 2011 Version):
6:00 am: Wake up, get ready before kids wake up; dress kids, eat breakfast
7:30 am, M-F: Leave the house; drop off the kids at day care; arrive at work by 8
8am-4pm: Work a full day. Do course prep, grading, committee work, meeting with students, writing, meetings and teaching as much as possible in this time block so that when we are home with the kids, we are with the kids and not divided in our attentions
4:00 pm: Meet at the car; collectively pick up the kids
4:30 pm: Arrive home. Play with kids for an hour before starting dinner
5:30 pm: Make dinner; eat
6:30 pm: Play with kids some more; the parent who did not cook does the dishes
7:00 pm: Begin getting kids ready for bedtime
7:30 pm: Kids in bed; lights out
7:30-9:30 pm: Finish up on day's work, do some housekeeping, paying bills and so on
10:00 pm: Bed, for that full 8 hours of sleep
Now, as with all plans, this plan needed some flexibility and some changes - specifically about a day into trying it out.....
THE PLAN - The "Day after the Semester Started, What Were We Thinking?" Version
6:00 am: Wake up, get ready before kids wake up; dress kids, eat breakfast
7:30 am, M, W, F: Leave the house; drop off the kids at day care; arrive at work by 8
(BUT, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, when I am not teaching till 9am, we sleep in a bit because inevitably we get to sleep a bit too late and need a bit of extra catch up sleep. So we aim to leave the house by 8 am.)
8am MWF/ 8:30 am TR-4pm MWF/ 4:30 pm TR: Work a full day.
4:00 pm MWF/ 4:30 pm TR: Meet at the car; collectively pick up the kids
4:30 pm MWF/ 5:00 pm TR: Arrive home. Play with kids
5:30 pm: Make dinner; eat
6:30 pm: Play with kids some more; the parent who did not cook does the dishes
7:00 pm: Begin getting kids ready for bedtime
7:30 pm: Kids in bed; lights out
7:30-9:30 pm [NB: Or till necessary work is done]: Finish up on day's work, do some housekeeping, paying bills and so on
10:00 pm as an ideal; more like 11pm: Bed, for that full 8 hours of sleep
A few days into the new, revised plan, I realized that it wasn't working for a couple reasons: a) I was writing a book; b) the baby refused to get into the act. Half an hour of bedtime prep just wasn't her thing and we were getting more and more tired by the day. So:
The Plan - The "Why Won't You Go to Sleep, Sweetheart, I'm Going to be Up Till 3 am" Version
7:00 am: No, really, we can get ready in half an hour....
7:30 am, M, W, F: Leave the house; drop off the kids at day care; arrive at work by 8
8am MWF/ 8:30 am TR-4pm MWF/ 4:30 pm TR: Work a full day.
4:00 pm MWF/ 4:30 pm TR: Meet at the car; collectively pick up the kids
5:30 pm: Make dinner; eat as early as possible
6:30 pm:
9:00 pm: I surface for air. Kids not in bed, though not for lack of trying. Husband running ragged. Run through the "I'm going to start counting if you are not in PJs in three seconds" mantra.
10:00 pm: Four year old in bed; baby still crying. Spend an exhausted half hour debating with spouse about whether to do "cry it out" or whether to rock baby. Baby falls asleep on shoulder in mid-debate.
10:30 pm: Try to clear path to kitchen. Noise of doing dishes wakes baby. Repeat 10 pm convo.
Midnight: Dishes done; maybe just a few more minutes to work on book.
Thankfully, the book got finished six weeks into the semester. I had thought that would mean we could revert to an earlier plan, but Philosophy PhD Husband decided to apply for a few jobs and simultaneously we both began having to attend some evening meetings for work. Only occasional meetings, but still....
The Plan: The Mid-Semester (Now Things Are REALLY Starting to Happen) Version
7:15 am: No, really, we can get ready in half an hour....
7:55 am, M, W, F: Drag selves to car. Drop off harried and annoyed husband at work so that he can dash to class even later than his students.
8am MWF/ 8:30 am TR-4pm MWF/ 4:30 pm TR: Work a full day.
5:00 pm: Notice clock and wonder why spouse has not called to figure out who will arrange for the school pick up. Call spouse. After 5 minutes of complicated sorting through schedules and figuring out who has to do what before leaving, one of us leaves to pick up the kids, promising to "be back in half an hour to pick you up...."
6:15 pm: An hour later, spouse shows up. Go home (finally). One person makes dinner; the other chases after the toddler. I mean, the other plays nicely with the kids. Or, if spouse has evening meeting, dinner is boxed mac and cheese made while chasing toddler around.
7:00 pm: Dinner on table
8:00 pm: Begin bedtime process
10 pm: Phew. Kids in bed. (NB. If spouse has evening meeting, kids will not be actually asleep till spouse arrives back at home.) Work. Work like mad on the varying job apps, papers, grading, assessments, and so on.
Midnight: Oh, heck. The dishes. Spend 15 minutes tiredly discussing whether to just leave the darned things till morning or not. Finally do dishes. (The impetus for this by the way is quite simply that regardless of lack of sleep we just do better in the morning if there is a nice clean sink there. Hence, dishes usually done but not without some pain.)
This plan actually served us well through most of the rest of the semester. Until, that is, it got to final exam week, wherein the whole plan had to be revised.
The Plan: The Final Exam and Grading Blitz Week Survival Version
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ah, well. How nice for us that a whole brand new semester awaits in 2012 and we get to have a whole brand new plan.
Ha ha ha!!!! That post made me laugh SOOO hard! Schedules always look so nice on paper, don't they? I even set up a google calendar this semester that specified grocery shopping, chores, and whatnot as well as work "goals." Didn't work out. My sort of flexibility of schedule is both a curse and a blessing.
ReplyDeleteI have to say, though, that we have become total converts to the early bedtime for kids thing. Baby Patrick is still going down for the night between 6 and 6:30 p.m. and sleeps (with some night nursing) until 6:30 a.m. Eva gave up her nap and she and Maia are usually both asleep by 7:30 at the latest. Then we do get some work time in (even though there were many days when DH did not see Patrick except for an hour in the morning).
But my question is... where's the spousal quality time? That's where we always get stuck. Because yes, we can both work from 8-10 p.m. but we also like hanging out together. And our "Saturday night" quality time plan didn't always work out so well either.
Honestly though, I KNOW you accomplished a lot this semester, taxing though it may have been on family life. There's a book to show for it, so that's great. ;)